Terrible Two
by Limited-Fantasy
Summary: A magical mishap splits Loki in two: a nice Loki and a mean Loki. The Avengers think nice!Loki is great, until they don't. Warnings for eventual slash.
1. In which the split happens

The Avengers shielded their eyes, bracing themselves for the impact of Loki's hybrid spell with dread. They'd arrived too late to stop Loki from taking hold of the ancient South American relic and no one was sure just how disastrous it could be for the planet as a whole. Had they truly lost as Loki had shouted at them when they arrived?

Everyone thought so for about five seconds, but then the eerie green magic suddenly recoiled and withdrew, imploding in a very surprised Loki's hands. His scream of agony was a welcome sound compared to the complete destruction of North America and possibly all the other continents.

Or well, it was until his magic seemingly exploded out again (along with him) and leveled a whole chunk of the Amazon rainforest with him.

The only one that still stood in the aftermath was Thor, who was dazed with several plates of his armor (and helmet) ripped off while his cape inexplicably remained, flapping majestically behind him.

He blinked slowly for a moment and then blinked again, not believing the sight before him. When the other Avengers rose as well, they did the same, some even rubbed their eyes and squinted because at that moment, rather than seeing a steaming, ruined Loki (or being showered with bits of Loki, which sounded really gross), two Lokis stood before them. It wasn't one of Loki's doppelgangers, Thor would know after being victim to them for centuries...which made it even more confusing.

"...brother, what kind of trickery is this?" Thor finally asked.

Both Lokis were staring at each other with curiosity and didn't even look up when Thor spoke. It was...jarring at the very least to see one face so open and inquisitive while the mirroring identical face was pinched and suspicious. If there was a mirror between them, Loki would've been convinced he was just looking at a bewitched reflection.

"You! I did not summon a double!" Snarled the scary one.

"Well, neither did I. I think I would know if you were one of my illusions," snapped the less scary one. And to prove his point, he snapped his fingers and another Loki appeared for a moment before disappearing.

The scary one tried to do the same, but snapping didn't work, so he tried waving his hand. When that didn't work, he snarled and swore in a tongue unintelligible to Midgard, but very intelligible to the less scary Loki and Thor. Both of which blushed and clapped their hands over their ears in shock and horror.

"_Brother_!" Thor cried in dismay.

"_Loki_!" Less scary Loki echoed, looking even more scandalized than Thor did.

Scary Loki glared and unsheathed his daggers. In response, less scary Loki snapped his fingers again and bound the scary one in tight metal bindings. Scary Loki, thus strapped, fell on his face like a log.

The Avengers gaped while Thor timidly approached the still-standing Loki.

"Brother...?"

Loki looked up and hesitated, scanning Thor critically. There was a very shrewd look on his face that usually meant trouble. Thor tightened his grip on Mjolnir in response while the other Avengers tensed, ready to defend if necessary.

But instead of blasting Thor with a bit of nasty magic, Loki reached up and tucked a wayward strand of blonde hair form Thor's face in a disturbingly tender way.

"There!" Loki declared happily.

Thor dropped Mjolnir.


	2. In which they keep the nice one

The ride back to Malibu did not include any magical mishaps, despite the fact that the quinjet now had not one, but two Lokis. Scary Loki, once Less Scary Loki had cleaned him up and threatened to gag him, sat in the corner and glared at everyone, not saying a word.

Less Scary Loki was occupied with snuggling on his confused, yet happy brother's lap, which everyone tried really hard to ignore. Except it was Loki, so he wouldn't be ignored, even if he suddenly seemed nicer.

Thor seemed oblivious to the way Loki nuzzled his neck or the "come join us" looks that Loki was flashing everyone. When the quinjet jerked while changing directions, Loki took the opportunity to grind against Thor's thigh, letting out a little "oh" that instantly tightened pants all around and made Black Widow press her legs closer against each other.

Everyone was grateful when the ride ended and they'd deposited scary Loki into the hands of SHIELD. Unfortunately, Less Scary Loki continued to cling to his brother and was evading capture entirely by giving Thor his best helpless puppy eyes. In the end, the Avengers were stuck with the nicer of the two, who seemed quite happy to have Thor hold his hand and drag him about like a pet.

It was weird, but whatever kept the sorcerer out of trouble was fine by them for the time being. Even if it meant Loki slipping his hands under Thor's civilian clothes once in awhile and refusing to sit in his own chair, but on Thor's lap at all times.

Pepper had left, taking advantage of her unused vacation hours after walking into the kitchen to see Thor hand-feeding Loki pieces of poptarts.

Meanwhile, there was no word from SHIELD about any progress with Scary Loki besides the occasional news that one or two agents had to be sent to the hospital, and one had died from getting stabbed in the eye by a plastic fork.


	3. In which Tony Stark has second thoughts

The next morning, all the Avengers were lured to the kitchen by the scent of waffles. No one questioned why there were heaps and heaps of waffles on the kitchen table since no one slept a wink until well after three in the morning because of the loud noises from Thor's decidedly, not soundproof room and the accompanying sudden thunderstorm. If they saw certain marks on Thor's throat as they walked through the same hallway toward the kitchen, they didn't comment.

"Brother! What makes an occasion for such a feast?"

Everyone looked away from the steaming waffles over to the kitchen counter for the first time and stared.

Loki was standing there casually with Tony's custom-painted red and gold waffle iron in a green apron, a pair of tight jeans and nothing else. He beamed at all the Avengers as if nothing was amiss and slid the last of the waffles onto a plate.

"The waffle iron was begging to be used," Loki replied, stroking the top of the iron with disturbing reverence. Tony glanced over at the waffles quickly to see if they were the right crispy, golden colour just in case.

It turned out that the waffles were not just fantastic, but borderline orgasmic with syrups and fruits. Loki didn't even seem to mind making seconds or going to get them coffee. Tony decided that maybe nice Loki was a good thing and he would definitely forgive Loki for keeping him up all night if there were waffles every morning along with a topless Loki in an apron (he wondered briefly as he took a sip of coffee if he could possibly convince Loki into wearing a French maid outfit).

His good opinion about this nicer Loki only escalated when Loki appeared in his lab with a sandwich and beer, still only in those tight, tight jeans. To think, they were so close to putting him away with the scary counterpart! Clearly whatever that spell was had left the Avengers with a new and improved Loki that really should be kept around—

"Whoa, there! What are you doing, Loki?" Tony asked, sitting up to shrug Loki's hand away from his shoulder. He had a feeling that Thor wouldn't like Loki touching other people like that.

"What I want," Loki purred (wait, he was _purring_?) as he slipped his hand under Tony's doublet to get at a nipple.

Tony got up quickly, but Loki simply followed, letting his other hand slide under Tony's sweatpants.

"Uh...can you at least wait until I've eaten that sandwich you brought me?" Tony asked desperately. It wasn't that he didn't like the attention, but this was the wrong place and it was the wrong person trying this on him, especially when he could see very visible hickeys on that person's throat. Thor was going to kill him.

"No. Your sandwich has onions and I'd rather not kiss someone with onion breath."

"Um...how about we move somewhere more private?" Tony was backing away slowly to where his panic button was because it was clear that Loki wasn't about to let up. Thor wouldn't kill him if he asked for help to get Loki off him, right?

But before he could reach that button, the glass door to his workroom slid open to admit Agent Coulson, who stopped shy of entering when he caught sight of a topless Loki practically climbing on top of Tony Stark.


End file.
